Nostalgic

Sometimes I wonder if too much wandering down memory lane can be a not-so-good thing.

I think there are alot of things I'm quite nostalgic about. As you can see, I've changed my template again. I held the same one for quite a long time and really liked it, but then started having technical difficulties with it. I tried to get the designer, Isnaini, to help me, but I didn't hear back from him after numerous tries. So with great sadness, I found another--the red one. I liked it...but it didn't hit me the way my old one did. And for some reason, the last couple days, I've been surfing around looking at others. I found a completely beautiful one here but when I went to download it, I had to jump through hoops to get it for free. I started jumping, but was suddenly exasperated and decided not to. I kept looking here and found many really good ones, but with over 160 pages to look at, I cut things short.

This one's nice. Not sure if it's hitting me either though. I'm still kind of yearning for my beautiful girl template, but strangely when I looked back on Isnaini's site and saw it (The Future)....I didn't try downloading it again.

Timotei. There's another random thing I'm nostalgic for. I used Timotei shampoo for years, much of high school....well, the end of high school that is. Then they stopped making it. I have yet to find another shampoo that I like nearly as well as Timotei. I think it's a girl thing. Or a scent thing.

I don't know if everyone is like this, but my nose has this amazing memory. I can remember smells from way back, but it's not like I can conjure the scent up again....it's more the way I felt when I smelt it. If I smell Safari cologne (I think it's Safari), I can immediately remember the nervous/excited way I felt when I sang with an opera and the maestro kept kissing me on both sides of my face whenever he saw me (he was from Europe). There's a couple other colognes that bring back memories; Drakar, polo and some blue sailboat stuff.

Music does a similar thing. The soundtrack to Stealing Home, a movie I've never seen, is a huge memory-unearther for me. Peter Cetera/Chicago. Sting. Phil Collins. Some wacky song about a pencil case.

I was reading some old journals earlier this week--maybe that's what started all this. Sometimes it's completely amazing to see stuff I wrote when I was 17--even hopes for having a family and career--and compare it to now. Sometimes the stuff I wrote was quite sweet. Sometimes it was really dorky.

And sometimes it's rather heartbreaking.

I have journals of each of my kids through their pregnancies and births and some after as well. I have journals of highschool plays and university classes, boyfriends and break-ups, engagements (....ok, just one of those). I have a journal of all my wedding plans. I have a journal with autographs of most of my camp co-workers from each year. I have journals that talk about my siblings, my parents, my friends, my failures, my dreams and expectations.

I was going to say that I don't really journal anymore, but then I realized I just got high-tech about it. You're reading it! Although, it's not quite the same. It might seem that I tell the whole world some rather in depth details about my life, [some say] but...really? You really think?

Uh-uh. Sorry if that's disappointing.

There are just some things you don't want to hear about.